yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Sacagawea was the original milf.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize