he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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