I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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