I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
