Buhtt sex?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
