Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize