ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
