Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize