So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
