I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
