just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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