Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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