zippers are such a cool invention
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
