i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
