Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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