There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
love makes seman taste better
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
