Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
