so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
