hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
