We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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