just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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