the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
