you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am full of burrito and curiosity
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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