I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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