My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize