I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think my moral compass just broke
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize