It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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