I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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