We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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