There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize