it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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