IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
vagina is talking i cant
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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