dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
