would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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