Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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