hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
