You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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