In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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