so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
