I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
