Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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