i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
