Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
