Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
smell my finger.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
