I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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