I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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