So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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