hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
