I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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