I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
