Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize