..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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