I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize