I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
