In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
