I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
