its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
