Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think i have two assholes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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