This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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