stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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