Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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