would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
