there's paper in my vomit.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
