ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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