yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
