He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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