The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
