I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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