So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
