I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hippo gnu deer
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize