i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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