I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm at about main and main street
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
