Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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