Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
